Dearest Drew

Dearest Drew,
I hope you don't push me any further or you may not make it through the night. I can't help but laugh at you and your antics - though they sure do infuriate me. You are the boy I always dreamed of and I sure do love you! Thank goodness you are in bed though :-)

To say you are obsessed with the Wii and Mario Bros would be an understatement. If you were permitted to do so then you would play Mario all day long. When you tire of playing the Wii, you request to watch youtube videos of Mario. And just recently you like for us to find Mario games for you to play online. I CAN'T stand the time you spend "gaming" and while I know I am the parent and I can control this for some reason I struggle.

Lately though it has gotten WAY out of control. You will decide that your game is too important and you can't possibly take time out of your game to go potty. This evening you were playing a game on my computer and simply stood up on my chair and began to pee. YOU PEED ON MY DINING ROOM CHAIR WHILE NOT ONCE LOOKING AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER! You little sh!t!

I put you into the tub and told you that you would not do any sort of gaming for the next couple days. You were upset, but got over it rather quickly. I cleaned up the mess you made and then came up to the bathroom to wash you off. You asked me if you could play Mario when you got out and I chuckled and told you that you would not be playing any sort of Mario game for the next two days. I turned around to clean the toilet (figured I might as well clean the bathroom while I was in there) and you started splashing me. I shot you a look and told you to drain the water and then I turned around to finish cleaning the toilet. While turned around this time you shot me in the backside with a squirt gun! ...I couldn't help but smile and laugh to myself.

I took you out of the tub and you asked to "sweep naked". I told you absolutely not!

You are now in bed and I can't help but smile as I type this cause you are the boy I always dreamed I would have. ALL BOY!

When I went to check on you before I went to bed this is how I found you, or rather Chloe - resting her cone head on top of your head.