Do You Know What Tomorrow Is?

It is Drew's 2nd birthday. As I sit here drinking wine and watching Grey's Anatomy I can't help but feel a bit empty. I remember dreading turning 30 but once the day arrived and then passed I was fine. The anticipation was the hardest part. I sure hope this holds true for this as well. I think tomorrow will be a very hard day for me. Drew will be 2.

Two years ago my mom and Al were here to lend a hand with Izzy while I was in the hospital. My mom was then going to stay a couple extra days when Drew came home. Here is what I remember...and some have probably never heard this story.

I had placenta previa with Drew. It had moved to "marginal" at the end of my pregnancy and therefore I was scheduled for a c-section on September 25th. Due to the fact that it was marginal, and I really had hoped for another vaginal birth, my doctor had decided one week prior to the scheduled c-section that I would be a good candidate for an induction. So, I was rescheduled to have an induction on September 26th.

My biggest concern was not the induction, but rather how Izzy would handle my absence. I was not to be at the hospital until 10:30 the next morning, but had decided that we would leave before Izzy even woke up for the day. I figured I could go to the hospital and claim I was in labor, cause would they really send me home if I had a scheduled induction a few hours later?

So, I went to bed in our guest room. My parents were in our bedroom, and Pete was on an air mattress somewhere. So, around 12:30 am I woke up thinking my water had broken. Stop reading now if you don't want to know all the gory details. I remember thinking this will be great...Drew will be born before Izzy even wakes up so Pete will be able to get back home shortly after. I just wanted Izzy to be okay. I didn't need Pete at the hospital - I needed him with Izzy.

So, back to the story. It wasn't my water that broke; I was bleeding. There was alot of blood, intense pain and I was very scared! I woke up my mom and then she woke Pete. We debated on whether or not to call 911. We opted to drive ourselves. On the way I called the hospital and told them what was going on. I also told them that I hadn't felt the baby move. Once we arrived, Pete dropped me at the door and parked the car. I remember walking in and the lady at the desk saying to me that I needed to sign in and then have a seat. I told them that I just called, was bleeding and had not felt the baby move. Again I was told that I needed to sign in and have a seat. I then told the lady that my husband was parking the car and if when he came in and I wasn't in a room hooked up to a monitor then he would go ballistic. At this point I was crying because I was so scared. I got into a room, and the heartbeat was found. Thank God!

So, they get me to a room and not a single person will touch me. I am losing blood and have been prepped for blood transfusions. We are just waiting for the doctor to arrive. Finally he does, takes a quick look and says we need to get the baby out asap. I now have papers being put in my face left and right to sign. I am literally signing papers as I am being wheeled down the hall into the OR. All of a sudden Pete has disappeared. I am sure someone told me that he was being taken away, but I don't remember. I just remember him being gone. Where the heck is my husband? I was in the OR being prepped and asking for Pete. The nurse tells me he will be in soon. I finally let the enormity of the situation take over. I LOSE IT! L.O.S.E. I.T!!! I begin SOBBING! I tell a nurse that I can't die. I tell her that I have a husband and a 19 month old baby girl that need me. I tell her that I am their everything and they are mine. She gently cradled my face with her hands and told me that she promised me everything would be okay. I believed her and thankfully she was right.

Tomorrow my baby boy turns 2. I promise to only share good stuff tomorrow...